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Part I: This Web site and its author

Q: What is the purpose of this site?

A: Paramedic the Thoom is my character in an Internet role-playing game for Macintosh computers called Clan Lord. Clan Lord is produced by Delta Tao software. For more information, go here: http://www.deltatao.com/clanlord/index.html

My site shows scenes from the game and is a compilation of material related to Clan Lord. It also provides information about my clan and the members of my race in general within the world of Clan Lord.

Q: Are you REALLY a paramedic?

A: I’m not a paramedic, but I play one on the Internet. My character in Clan Lord is a healer who spends much of his time rescuing and healing those in need.

Q: What do I need to play Clan Lord?

A: You need a Macintosh, the software from Delta Tao, and you will need to pay a monthly ($10) fee. More specifically, a fast 68040 Macintosh is the bare minimum I would recommend to play Clan Lord, and a faster machine would be desirable.

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Part II: Thooms

Q: What’s that hideous noise coming out of my computer speakers when I come to your page?

A: That’s what thooming sounds like.

Q: Why do I get an error when I go to your page?

A: The “thoom” noise is an embedded sound. If you cannot hear it, or if you are getting an error, something is probably wrong with your browser. Perhaps you do not have the plug-in for sounds installed correctly. The html is coded correctly, really, I promise.

Q: What is a Thoom?

A: The Thoom are one of the races in the world of Clan Lord. The Thoom are known for being sailors, philosophers, and healers. The name of their race derives from the “thoom” noise made when they inflate their throat sacs. Thooms make this noise as a form of communication.

Q: Do Thooms have gills?

A: No. Their gills have evolved into throat sacs, which they inflate with air before going underwater. Thooms cannot stay underwater for very long periods.

Q: Are Thooms fish?

A: Thoomish ancestors indeed lived under the sea. Nowadays, though, Thooms are more like what those who live on land call "amphibians."

Q: What is the Thoom life-cycle like?

A: Female Thooms are pregnant for an 8 month period. At the end of eight months, she lays 1-4 eggs in a small pond or well-protected body of water. The mother and father Thooms watch over the eggs carefully until they hatch, typically two weeks later. The first sight baby Thoomlets usually see is their parents looking down at them in the water, reaching down to grab them.

0-4 years: Thoomlet
Thoomlets spend almost as much time in the water as on dry land, and can breathe either place. They still have gills and spend much time sleeping in their nursery pond.

4-20 years: Thoomling
By age 4 or 5, Thoomlets find that they can no longer breathe underwater and their gills develop into throatsacs. Once they leave the nursery pond for good, they are considered Thoomlings. The Thoomling years are ones of intense education for young Thooms.

20-120 years: adult Thoom
By age 20 most Thooms are well-established with a well-planned career path in one of many Thoom disciplines, such as medicine, sailing, philosophy, or economics. Most Thooms devote about one hundred years to their careers. Thooms tend to marry around age 30. Most Thooms maintain life-long monogamous relationships, but this is not always the case.

120-140: Thoom elder
After age 120, Thooms tend to retire. They either serve as advisors to their community or professions, or they set off to travel the world. Thooms occasionally live longer than 140 years, but it is uncommon.

Q: What do Thooms eat for breakfast?

A: Thooms are omnivores, but prefer fish and seaweed to other meals.

Q: What is that thing on top of the head of female Thooms?

A: It is a crest or ridge, similar to that on peacocks.

Q: Do Thooms have ears?

A: Thooms have earholes, positioned slightly behind their eyes.

Q: How's Thoom vision?

A: Thooms have eyes on the sides of their head, giving them an excellent field of vision. They can look to the sides as well as straight ahead. The drawback to having eyes on the sides of their heads is that Thoom forward depth-perception is somewhat lacking compared to that of the other races. This also partially explains why Thoom warrior skills are not as well-developed as those of others.

Q: What's the story about rubbing a Thoom's head?

A: Folk wisdom says that rubbing a Thoom's head can be good luck.

Q: Why are Thooms so often healers?

A: Thoom mastery of science and mystic learnings, along with their sophisticated system of universities, gives them an edge over other races in learning the ways of healing. Thooms have to work a little harder to be fighters, but can eventually excel there as well.

Q: What is the nature of Thoom religion?

A: There is no one single Thoom religion. Thoom spirituality is diverse.

Q: How do the Thoom get along with other races?

A: The Thoom tend not to get involved in the politics of the world. Their extensive knowledge of history and psychology gives them a slightly world-weary sense of having seen everything before. They prefer not to have their libraries and universities and sailing ships burned or ravaged, so they simply allow whatever political entities in ascendance at the time to bloodlessly "conquer" them. The Thoom then proceed to maintain their benevolent mastery of the world's economy and intellectual culture. "Let others engage in warfare and political affairs," said Thoom philosopher Frooth, "because the Thoom are better suited to be the sailors and traders and scholars of our world."

Q: What is ThoomCare?

A: ThoomCare is Puddleby's Clan for Thoom Healers.

Q: Is ThoomCare accepting new members?

A: Sometimes. Contact Paramedic in town for more information on how to join.

Q: Is ThoomCare allied with any other clans?

A: Not formally, but ThoomCare has long enjoyed a close relationship with Clan Rising Claw.

Q: How did ThoomCare get a signpost that says “Wounded? Fallen? Call ThoomCare”?

A: One day a signpost vendor came to town, and Paramedic was fortunate enough to be able to purchase one for the clan.

Q: What is "The Running of the Zo"?

A: After a large Thoom gathering, the Thooms will select a Zo at random to be chased all over town. Chaos reigns as Thooms run wildly through the streets trying to catch the fleeing Zo. Usually, the Thooms finally surround the Zo, and then graciously set him or her free, as a symbol of Thoom kindness. They also shower the Zo with good karma. Three Zo have been so honored in Puddleby in recent times: Worf, Turalyon and Edrik.

Thanks to Althea, Bones, Myself, Narse, Telisiane and many others for help with this FAQ.