November 24, 2006
Grand Theft Snail; Possible Thoomicide


Skirwan sent the following report to TMN:

It is with a heavy heart that I must report the apparent disappearance of the female Thoom Skirwan and the potential associated snailnapping of Snailunk.

A suspicious character calling himself "Gullfaxi", which may or may not be his real name, has appeared at the recently-opened petting zoo on Phineas' Island claiming to have purchased Snailunk from Skirwan.

Those close to Skirwan, myself included, agree that she would never willingly part with Snailunk. That, combined with the fact that she has mysteriously vanished (there are no reliable reports of anyone seeing her for nearly thirty zodiacs) leads inevitably to a reasonable suspicion of foul play. At present, the Puddleby Police Department's Grammatical Enforcement Unit is treating this as a potential Thoomicide and grand theft snail. Investigations are ongoing.

Attached please find a file image of the missing Skirwan, as well as a recent image of Gullfaxi, the mysterious stranger that the Puddleby Police Department's Grammatical Enforcement Unit considers a top suspect. The PPD GEU is offering a reward of one free transferable grammatical infraction in exchange for information leading to the safe recovery of Skirwan.


Posted by Para at November 24, 2006 11:18 AM

Looks like murder to me, can we take NPCs to court?

Posted by: Fundin on November 24, 2006 03:00 PM

Actually, Skirwan wanted to be even MORE like you, as Gullfaxi is an annagramatic, replacement coded version of the name!

Posted by: on November 24, 2006 11:13 PM

Follow the money...

Posted by: on November 25, 2006 09:13 AM

Er ... Skirwan homme, how did you manage to get in a sketch with Gullfaxi AND Snailunk? I'm not making any accusations, but ... it seems mighty strange...

Posted by: Creed on November 25, 2006 11:08 AM

The first image is a GEU file image of Skirwan. We keep records of everyone in Puddleby... for your protection! The second image was taken in the course of the investigation.

I certainly hope, m'dear Creed, that you're not implying that I, an officer of the PPD, would be a party to nefarious goings-on. That's defamation and verbally assaulting a police officer, and if need be I'm sure I can talk Sheriff Noivad into declaring that unconstitutional or some such.

Trust us -- we're from the government, and we're here to help.

Posted by: Skirwan on November 25, 2006 05:44 PM
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