September 23, 2001
Fishwrap #44 - "Ethereal Doughnut"



"It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue."

Issue #44: "Ethereal Doughnut"
[September 23, 2001]
Circulation: 175

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.


WormTounge interview
Fishwrap Top 10
Koric interview
Dead drake
Mystics argue
Fat Alice
Reader Mail
Sum's Ball of Mud
Clan Profile: Light and Shadow
T'rool interview


This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following sponsors:
* Clan Rising Claw
* Clan Pogue Mahone
* Lundar the Mystic
* Habbakuk Lal for the new Edarian Alliance clan scrolls
* Thoom Mailing List: The Thoom Information Conduit
* Quest Tracker: The Discussion Group for Quest Information
* Fishmonger: Puddleby's News Kiosk

"Fishwrap Magazine: Thoom News You Can Use"

brought to you by Fishwrap reporters:
* Kryll and Eva have left the lands
* Cassandra and Malkor are married. Malkor says: "Gifts are welcome."
* Nohurt is now a member of ThoomCare
* ThoomCare member Nohurt is now a second circle healer
* Halfling-hungry Gerag the Drake threatens to burn down Puddleby
* Drake update: Gerag is dead
* The DM sponsored Volympics are coming soon:
* Polerand is now a fourth circle fighter
* New visionstone site, by Sanford Oblong:

brought to you by Norm's Diary
* Norm makes fourth circle
* Gerag the drake killed by exiles
* Alice's strange little garden
for more information on the above stories, see Norm's Adventures
(note new address)

brought to you by Babajaga's Diary:
* Tenebrion seeks a group of adventurers to get a fresh scaramis egg
* Pictures of Gerag
* Noivad got an Ethereal Stone from Tenebrion
* Sword of Souls
* Robin Greyhawk gets inside the Orga Camp power room
* Storoenna now more competent
* Qual escapes prison
for more information on the above stories, see Babajaga's Diary

brought to you by Koric's Journal
* Chain discussion
* Malkor and Zorton conflict
* Rising Claw is now Dun'ilsar
for more information on the above stories, see Koric's Journal

brought to you by Callia
* Tenebrion and his brothers working on a device to measure Ether
* Callia and Paramedic "help" in the Valley
* Pogue Mahone may be engaged in a private deal with Tenebrion
for more information on the above stories, see Callia's Book of Suns at


* Portals to the Ethereal Plane are now showing up in Purgatory which shows that not everything Tenebrion says is based on some drug-induced insanity. Some theorize that this means that the Ethereal Plane and Purgatory will become one with the assumed loss of our ability to depart. This would certainly be a shocking loss to Puddleby as many explorations are based around the premise that exiles will simply depart if they get overwhelmed. Unfortunately, it seems that only fourth-circle fighters/healers and above have any hope of participating in this event so don't be shocked to find out that you're relegated to the sidelines.

* Speaking of Tenebrion, another 'brion brother showed up by the name of Lugubrion. He reportedly has a blue color scheme. I'm sure he'll be as insane as the other brothers, but as long as he doesn't want to kill every exile, I really don't care about his mental problems.

* There is another no-fee library under the pond in the Monastery for those that can enter. We can't use the well to go under the Monastery but we can go out of our way to use yet another library. Here's hoping for those darn rungs to dry off soon.

* The Outpost is still not open. The Sylvans have been picking wallpaper for so long that it's not even worth making jokes about it.

* A person came to town recently showing off a potion. He said he would give it to the exile that got the most points in a variety of contests. At the end, the potion turned out to be a Potion of Energy with undiscernable effects. Some say that it allows you to run faster but others say it has no effect on running. More testing needs to be done to determine who exactly can use this potion. Personally, I think that it would have an effect on either healer or mystic spirit regeneration or perhaps the power of mystic boosts. Rigorous testing is definitely needed.

* The Puddleby-Kiramu Monastery now is an official affiliation, granted by the grandmaster of the Kiramu Monastery. If you're interested in learning more, go to:

* Gerag was killed before I had a chance to speak with him for the Fishwrap. Although I offered him several chances at an exclusive interview if I could speak to him in a private locale, I was turned down at every opportunity. Maybe this is because Gerag only concerned himself with halflings or maybe because of the dozen or so exiles that were poking him with swords and axes. Nonetheless, it seems that the only things we will learn of him are his emphasis on the "s" sound and his desire to eat halflings.

* Johnny Treeseed must have walked into town under cover of night because some of the trees he planted changed shape and locale and there seems to be additional trees planted. These trees now have shadows and add a lot to the ambience that is Puddleby.

* Fat Alice from Kizmia's Island came to town one day demanding the use of one of our cauldrons. We took her to Husus (near the temple to Gaia) but she said that it was already being used by someone else. We then went to the hut by the Lilly Pond but she said that both the cauldron and the hut were too old and falling apart. Not to mention the constant grasshopper sound and the smell. So we all trekked to the southwest farms to the huts there which met to Fat Alice's slight approval. I say slight because she wanted the holes in the roof to be repaired, the rat holes covered up, a fireplace, more comfortable beds, carpets, etc. Fat Alice gave us one month to get the house fixed up and promised a salve in return. Malkor (who was leading the group) seemed to know exactly where to go to get help and came with Meyson Carpenter who agreed to collect building materials to fix the hut up. The exiles present decided to do a good job and collect 300 building materials. Last I checked, Meyson was close to finishing so be sure to bring to him any logs or rocks that you find. I'd hate to fail when we are so close to finishing.

[Editor's note: Alice was apparently unhappy with the cabin.
See Norm's Diary for the latest on this breaking story.

- Para]

* The Dwarven Volympics was supposed to start on September 15th but has been delayed to Saturday, September 29, 2001 through Sunday, October 7, 2001. Head on over to

for the latest information on events and how to participate.

News from the Fen News Bureau is brought to you by:

Jeanne's Legacy

* Her merchant store is now open. See her current prices and what she has in stock.
* Visionstones of recent events.
* Firsthand accounts of everything that she's witnessed in full detail.
* Lessons she's learned and her opinions on the world.

for more information, see Jeanne's Legacy:


Fishwrap Magazine is looking for a few more contributors, reporters and advertisers.

Advertising rates are quite affordable. Your ad will be read by well over 150 exiles!

Sponsorships: only 25 coins
Full ads: only 50 coins


Fishwrap is back.

I have made available some new pictures in the Fishwrap photo album. You can view pictures of April Fools' Day and of a recent lava fissure north of the orchard.

Take care of yourselves out there.

- Para


Paramedic asks, "WormTounge, would you like to be interviewed for Fishwrap magazine?"
WormTounge asks, "Be interviewed by the Fishwrap..?"
Paramedic says, "yes"
WormTounge asks, "Sure! You want to go some place with less noise?"
Paramedic says, "Sounds good."
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks for agreeing to an interview!"
Glorak peers deeply into his beer mug.
WormTounge says, "No problem"
WormTounge exclaims, "Thank you for the offer!"
Paramedic says, "Let's start with one question on the minds of many exiles."
WormTounge asks, "What's that?"

Worms and tongues

Paramedic asks, "1) Can you explain your name?"
WormTounge says, "Oh.."
Glorak sways back and forth.
WormTounge says, "It's sorta like my father's name, Wimtang"
WormTounge says, "It's a family tradition to follow on with similar names"
Paramedic says, "Hrm"
Paramedic asks, "so it doesn't literally mean Worm Tongue?"
(WormTounge shrugs)
WormTounge says, "It's sometimes useful to take it literally"
Paramedic asks, "Do you like worms or tongues?"
Paramedic asks, "or even have a position on either?"
Glorak covers one eye and attempts to focus on the wall.
WormTounge says, "Worms I don't mind, tongues are always useful to keep around"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge exclaims, "I don't think I could be much use without my tongue!"
Paramedic says, "Tongues are important."

The Life of a Merchant

Paramedic says, "2) Can you tell us about your business? You seem to sell and trade..."
(WormTounge nods)
WormTounge says, "I started off trading in small stuff, brewing and baking items mostly"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "But I've since expanded into selling items for people, usually for free"
Paramedic asks, "Do you make any money at it?"
WormTounge says, "It's fun, and I can make a few coins as well"
WormTounge says, "Not much, but yeah"
WormTounge says, "I guess I could make more going out hunting, but I'd prefer to rescue people and talk to others in town"
WormTounge says, "So this just fills in time between that"
Paramedic asks, "so you see it as a public service as much as a profit-making affair?"
WormTounge exclaims, "Yeah, exactly!"
Paramedic asks, "Do you meet many exiles in the process of conducting your trades?"
WormTounge says, "Absoultely"
WormTounge says, "Too many some days.. it can get very confusing"
Paramedic says, "I've noticed exiles line up to deal with you."
(WormTounge grins.)
WormTounge has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding a mercurial staff.
(He is well hidden under his robe.)
WormTounge has 73 good karma.
Paramedic asks, "What are the most sought-after items in Puddleby?"
WormTounge ponders, "And this is still the second question.. sheesh"
WormTounge says, "Orga and Lila berries I guess"
(Paramedic smiles)
WormTounge says, "I don't often get to sell those though"
Glorak peers deeply into his beer mug.
Glorak hiccups.
Paramedic asks, "What do people NOT want to buy?"
WormTounge says, "Togron nuts! I'm always getting offers to take togron nuts off people's hands, but not many buyers"
WormTounge says, "They've become the new brambleberries"
Paramedic says, "That's too bad"
WormTounge says, "It's okay, I still sell the potions once or twice a week"
Paramedic asks, "What's the rarest item you have sold?"
WormTounge says, "A museum token. I've auctioned two of them for Muzea."
Paramedic says, "Ahhh"
WormTounge says, "Oh, maybe this signpost I've got.."
Paramedic says, "I had one of those once"
Paramedic says, "I wish we could get more signposts"
WormTounge asks, "Did you use it?"
Paramedic says, "Yes, I did. The picture is on my scroll"
WormTounge asks, "Oh, advertising ThoomCare, wasn't it?"
Paramedic says, "Indeed"
Paramedic says, "Ok let's move to question 3"

The Red Quill

Paramedic says, "3) Tell us about your clan and your role within in"
WormTounge says, "I'm in the Red Quill"
WormTounge ponders, "Bet he'll run out of questions now"
Paramedic ponders, "don't count on it"
WormTounge says, "We're a group of scholars who work together to expand Puddleby's knowledge of our lands"
WormTounge has 73 good karma.
WormTounge has not disclosed his race, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of the Red Quill.
He is holding a mercurial staff.
(He is well hidden under his robe.)
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "Personally, I'm just a pleb... I'm kinda new to the clan as well"
WormTounge says, "It's lots of fun though, we get into trouble quite often"
Paramedic says, "RQ has been around a long time"
WormTounge exclaims, "Yes, a very long time!"
WormTounge says, "It was started before the Ripture war.. not sure when exactly"
Paramedic asks, "So you see it as a clan with a bright future?"
WormTounge says, "Definitely! We're always moving forward and doing new things"
Kalthax thinks, "Mobile ThoomCare™ Unit now roaming SF. Toggle if you need help."
Paramedic asks, "Some worry that the Nox Sorora is tied to your clan. Any thoughts on that?"

[Editor's note:

- Para]

WormTounge says, "It's been a problem in the past for some of our members"
Paramedic says, "Interesting"
WormTounge says, "One I know left because of conflicts with the Nox"
Paramedic asks, "How do you feel about the Nox?"
WormTounge says, "Recently, Naamah (I think) helped Aeaea go on a trip some place"
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "Most of us thought she had murdered Aeaea, but he's back with us now"
WormTounge says, "We're still trying to work out exactly what happened on Aeaea's trip though"
Paramedic says, "So am I."
Paramedic says, "The story seems puzzling"
WormTounge says, "Michael Aridfox was one of the Nox, a Gen Dea, before. Because of what happened, he left the Nox Sorora"
Paramedic asks, "Because of the Aeaea incident?"
WormTounge says, "He's on a quest now to find his faith again, whatever that might be in"
WormTounge says, "Yeah.. it's a big mess really"
Paramedic says, "That's too bad."
WormTounge says, "Naamah asked Michael to attack Aeaea ... to try and help with the ritual"
(Paramedic listens)
Paramedic says, "What an awkward position to be in"
WormTounge says, "Michael didn't want to hurt his clan leader, so attacked Naamah instead. Just a misunderstanding, I hope"
WormTounge says, "Aeaea says it was necessary to perform the ritual, but Michael though Naamah was trying to force Michael to choose between his clan and his faith"
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "That's about all of that story I know for sure though"
Paramedic asks, "Michael is still with RQ but is doing some soul-searching?"
WormTounge says, "Yes"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "He threw away his Gen Dea pendant into Ha'and"
Paramedic says, "Wow"
Paramedic asks, "Ever consider joining another clan before you joined Red Quill?"
WormTounge says, "As for other clans ... I was considering several before I finally joined Red Quill"
Paramedic says, "There are a number of powerful clans these days"
WormTounge says, "I talked to friends in other clans, Order of the White Elephant and Rising Claw for example"
Paramedic asks, "How do you feel about clan Pogue Mahone?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.."
(Paramedic listens)
WormTounge says, "Some of their members I don't like, but others I'm good friends with"
(Paramedic nods)
Paramedic says, "It can be hard to generalize about clans"
(WormTounge nods)
Paramedic says, "ok. onward to #4"

Tenebrion and His Family

Paramedic asks, "4) What do you think about Tenebrion and his brothers?"
WormTounge says, "I don't really know all that much about them all"
Paramedic says, "They seem to multiply"
WormTounge says, "I've never been on one of those Ethereal plane hunts, or spent much time on Kizmai's island"
Paramedic says, "Me neither."
WormTounge says, "But I'm not fond of them, and don't think any of them should be trusted"
(Paramedic nods)

The Orga

Paramedic asks, "5) What do you think is the most important issue facing exiles today?"
WormTounge says, "Hum.. I'm not really sure"
WormTounge says, "I guess the Orga, they're always a danger"
(Paramedic nods)
WormTounge says, "Getting our catapult back would be useful"
Paramedic says, "Definitely."
WormTounge says, "The Darshak are always a threat, as some of the others say"
Paramedic asks, "Do you participate in the Full Moon Orga Raids?"
(WormTounge chuckles.)
(Paramedic smiles)
WormTounge says, "When I can. I don't often get to be there for the whole time though"
Paramedic says, "It takes a long time committment"
WormTounge says, "Haven't seen the Orga magician yet either"
Paramedic says, "Well, we're approaching the end of the interview"
WormTounge ponders, "Ooh, I get to ask a question!"
Paramedic says, "And tradition allows that you may ask the thoom one (1) question"
(WormTounge grins.)
Paramedic says, "That's 1 (ONE) question"
WormTounge asks, "Okay.. can I've a minute to think?"
Paramedic says, "Of course"
WormTounge ponders, "Ack! That's a question.."
WormTounge says, "oh.. okay"
Paramedic says, "I'll pretend I did not hear your first question"
(Paramedic pretends)
WormTounge asks, "How do you keep up with all the work you have to do?"
Paramedic says, "Well, sometimes I don't. That's why this Fishwrap is so late."
Paramedic says, "Also, I caught my flipper in the printing press."
WormTounge exclaims, "Oww!"
Paramedic says, "Ow."
WormTounge asks, "It's bandaged up now though?"
(Paramedic waves a bandaged flipper)
WormTounge says, "okay"
Paramedic says, "I really appreciate the efforts of those who submit materials for Fishwrap."
WormTounge says, "And you've got a whole clan to keep in line as well"
Paramedic says, "Ah, the clan members are a dream to work with"
WormTounge asks, "Does that take much effort?"
Paramedic says, "Very little. The members are independent and self-motivated"
Paramedic says, "They make me proud."
(WormTounge nods)
WormTounge exclaims, "I think that's the end of my questions!"
Paramedic says, "Allow me to thank you for an excellent interview, WormTounge"
WormTounge exclaims, "My pleasure!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
Paramedic exclaims, "Thanks!"
WormTounge exclaims, "Have a good day, and.. Thoom!"
Paramedic yells, "Thoom!"
(WormTounge grins.)
Paramedic says, "well done"


Top 10 Things That Rhyme or Almost Rhyme with "Myrm"

10. Sun Wyrm
9. Rel'lim
8. germ
7. Norm
6. berm
5. Zhirem
4. Miriam
3. slurm
2. fern
1. Large Tahxis Wurm


I was very pleased to interview Koric about training, love, and his clan, the Rising Claw.

- Jeanne

Jeanne says, "Question #1"
Jeanne asks, "You are famed for your high Horus ability. Why did you choose this particular path?"
Koric says, "Well."
Koric says, "First of all, I am kind of a lone wolf."
Koric says, "I do not like arriving on the scene to rescue someone and have to call for more help."
Jeanne ponders, "I've seen that happen often."
Koric says, "But that only explains the first 200 ranks or so."
Koric says, "I also saw a need."
Koric says, "No one at the time had filled that niche. Having a lot of Horus in one exile I knew would be useful."
Koric says, "Because the trend in our adventures is towards groups going further and further from town."
Koric says, "Facing more and more dangerous situations."
Koric says, "As we grow in power, we face monsters that are stronger, capable of causing more grievous harm."
Koric says, "Unfortunately, even my training hasn't kept up with the danger level."
Koric says, "I am often insufficient against massive dredlock lightning or the pebbles thrown at us in the foothills."
Jeanne says, "That's shocking considering you have above 800 Horus."
Koric says, "But others are also starting to specialize, like Azael, Dandelion, Aly, Puffy-s, Trystran D'Ark and of course, Lorikeet, who is my equal in Horus."

Horus Recommendations From An Expert

Jeanne says, "Question #2"
Jeanne asks, "What level of Horus do you recommend for those healers that choose to specialize in other trainers?"
Koric says, "I find that good levels of non-specialty ranks are 20 and 100."
Koric says, "20 is good for things like Loovma Geer, pathfinding, Mentus. Minor skills."
Koric says, "Also Skea."
Koric says, "100 is good for Horus."
Koric says, "Also for Proximus."
Jeanne says, "That's an interesting rule of thumb which I hadn't heard before."
Koric says, "Anything beyond 100 is useful, of course, but I would consider 100 a good minimum."
Jeanne asks, "I did wonder about why the later teachings of Horus were getting more difficult. Is it the nature of the craft?"
(Koric nods.)
Koric says, "Well, as I discuss in my journal a bit, it does get more difficult."
Koric says, "True for any specialization, I think."
Koric says, "There are some things everyone can grasp pretty easily."
Koric says, "But as you get deeper and deeper into a subject, it gets more abstract, more out of touch with the everyday."
Koric says, "That is certainly true when trying to keep spirits and material bodies in contact."
Jeanne says, "I am sure many exiles are thankful for the dedication that you have. I know that I am."
(Koric smiles.)
Koric says, "I am glad to hear that."
Koric says, "It is a difficult path, but I take it gladly."

The Art of Love

Jeanne says, "Question #3"
Jeanne asks, "You have been recently engaged. Do you have any romantic advice?"
Koric says, "Hmmmm."
Koric says, "I guess I've always found that the time you are most likely to find love is when you are not looking for it."
Koric says, "I think females can often smell desperation in a male, and it is often very unattractive. :)"
Koric says, "So when you aren't looking, when you are just being yourself, not posing or acting or putting on a show..."
Koric says, "That's when people will most likely see your true self, and if they like what they see, that's who you want."
Koric says, "My other advice is to be patient."
Koric says, "Oh, and fens are the best."
Koric says, "To those pursuing fens, I would gladly offer advice privately. :)"

Living the Cloaked Life

Jeanne says, "Question #4"
Jeanne asks, "Why do you choose to wear a cloak and do you want more choices for our appearance and if so, what kind?"
Koric says, "Well, I think regular human clothes make me look a lot fatter and bulkier than I really am."
Koric says, "All this running makes me pretty wiry. The cloak fits me much better."
Koric says, "I also find it difficult sometimes to accept the gaze of others into my eyes."
Koric says, "There are sometimes things there that others are not meant to see. My studies are often difficult."
Koric says, "The cloak's hood helps block out distractions. I like that."
Koric says, "I'm pretty happy with our different modes of dress and so forth."
Koric says, "But I would always welcome more options."

The Claw

Jeanne says, "Question #5"
Jeanne asks, "What is so great about the Rising Claw?"
Koric says, "Of course, the strength is in the wonderful members, the individuals I love and respect."
Koric says, "I knew Kodo, Perkusi and Lorikeet best when I joined, and we are all still close."
Koric says, "I also have a deep respect for the spirits of Trystran D'Ark, Tyndall, Sareth. Gosh, I hate to name more because I know I will leave someone out."
Koric says, "Anyway, I'm very proud of our competitiveness in the Dun'ilsar. We are currently 2nd, and we're about to challenge OWE for the top spot in a couple of zodiacs."
Koric says, "It is fun to hunt with my fellow claws, but we also have respect for each other's independence to a degree."
Koric says, "We've had our problems within the clan, but for the most part, members discuss things openly without bitterness or pettiness, and we are stronger because of it."
Koric says, "Odesseus maintains a great message service for us all, and he is the real heart of the clan."
Koric says, "Our clan has history and tradition. It has fun. It has respect. And it is getting better all the time."
Koric says, "A lot of that is due to the care and leadership over the years of older members like John Junkar and DeathLord."
Koric says, "But there I go listing names again, and I apologize again for anyone I am leaving out."
Koric says, "It's a great clan, and I'm glad I'm a part of it."
Jeanne says, "It sounds like you have a lot of justifiable pride."
Koric says, "I am optimistic. Our clan has good people."
Koric exclaims, "Well, an interesting interview! Thanks for offering to put me in Fishwrap!"
Jeanne says, "It was my pleasure."


The Bard's Guild of Puddleby is pleased to announce the new location of
its Guild scrolls:

Please update your bookmarks!

- Phineas


Sum exclaims, "Iho!"
(Sum smiles.)
Iho says, "Hiya Sum"
Sum asks, "Do you have a moment?"
Iho says, "sure"
(Sum smiles.)
(Sum plops down messily into the puddle. He thooms happily.)
Sum says, "Please join me in yon puddle."
Sum says, "I wish to interview you unoficially for Fishwrap Magazine. It will take but a moment."
Iho says, "Alright"
Sum says, "I have a number of questions, which you may answer or choose not to."
Iho says, "ok"
Sum asks, "Are you ready?"
Iho says, "yep"
Iho is a Halfling, is male, is a Healer, and is wearing the symbol of Puddlebean Ornithological Soc..
He is holding a moonstone.
(He is a Darkhorse eye, a Cartographer and the Navy Doc.)
Sum asks, "Question 1: Thooms wear no pants. How do you feel about this?"
Iho says, "I think every races should do the same. Pants are hot in summer."
Sum says, "You are correct! *BING*"
Sum asks, "Question 2: I used to own a ball of mud. I no longer own it. How do you feel about that?"
Iho says, "mmm... I don't care :)"
Sum says, "That makes me kind of sad, you know."
Iho asks, "Why would you like a ball of mud?"
Sum whispers, "Just go with it."
Sum says, "Question 3: As a fellow fighter, which would you say is more important:"
Sum asks, "Hitting very often and quickly, or only a few times, put with precision and power?"
Iho says, "Well... I'm a healer but... I prefer precision and power."
(Sum nods and makes a note.)
Iho says, "I like a lot of balance too."
Sum asks, "So, sort of both?"
Iho says, "Well... like, Ziff and Urgelt rather than like Gurgi."
Sum says, "Ahh."
Iho exclaims, "Sorry, Gurgi!"
(Sum grins.)
Sum asks, "Question 4: What three words most succinctly describe The Puddlebean Ornithological Society?"
Iho says, "To me... Birds, Friends, Fun."
(Sum smiles and jots that down.)
Sum asks, "Question 5: Why is your hair green?"
Iho says, "Because green is the color of Gaia and I worship her."
(Sum smiles.)
Sum exclaims, "Thank you for your time! You have been most helpful!"
Iho says, "My pleasure"
Sum exclaims, "Keep your eyes peeled for the next issue of Fishwrap Magazine, where this interview will appear!"
Iho exclaims, "Glad to contribute!"
(Sum smiles warmly.)


After many months of study with Master Higgrus, I was able to raise Glory and pass the 4th circle healer test. While Bruno claimed that most who passed are stronger than me, I still managed it. I would like to thank all who provided me with great training advice to meet this challenge and all those that sunstoned me after the test with congratulations and sent good karma.

Now I am on the long road of training with Virgil to gain my Pendant. Donations accepted for my pendant fund. =)





Light & Shadow has been a clan since before the Ripture War. Our founding fathers included Chucky, Lokiz, Jeanne, and 2 others whose names have been lost to history.

Our leaders searched long and hard for an identity for the fledgling clan. Their way became clear when a dream reminded Jeanne of the ancient telling:

"Back before the dawn of time, the Moon's eldest children reached into the Land of Shadow and stole a part of the glowing moon. They fled to our own realm and brought light and joy with them. Now the Moon yearned after the missing Light and the smiles of her children, and so she caused new children to walk the lands. But the results of this were creatures that mimicked the noble creatures of the Sun and the Earth in horrible ways. The Moon, who was now half Dark and half Light, took back her children because she finally understood that they couldn't continue walking the World. She blessed the saddest of them by turning them into stars to keep her company in the night sky. Twelve children alone remained to her and these she shielded from the Sun and the Earth so that they might live in harmony."

From this came our name and motto ("The face of the moon sees the injustice of the world, and the glowing sun will shine the light of truth and hope.")

You might think that this is a strange part of history to base a clan on but this tale has lessons for all to learn. The first lesson is that people can do strange things when they are lonely. As independent as we think we are, we need other people. Another lesson is that desiring something and having it are often entirely different because there may be undesirable consequences. We can also learn from the Moon's understanding that selfishness and jealousy lead only to trouble and destruction to others. Becoming a better and wiser person is something we should all aspire to and part of that is learning from our mistakes.

There are many clans in Puddleby and all exist for different reasons; some are organized around a particular cause, others are a bunch of friends who like to spend time together, and some are highly structured organizations. The Light & Shadow clan (L&S), however, is very much like an extended family. It just goes to show that you can choose your family as well as your friends, despite what the popular saying might lead you to believe. ^_^ While we don't have a chain of command, our two leaders are Mad Mark and Angela.

One of the benefits of being a family is that all of the members are allowed to choose their own path with support from others. If you fall down, you will be picked up, brushed off and set back on your journey. If you make a mistake, you'll be given a chance to make amends. If you need help, a hand will be extended.

While every L&S member is different, we do have similarities. We like helping others in any way that we can. We enjoy exploring new places. We all strive to get better and bring honor to our professions.

If you want to see us in action, feel free to come to our weekly meetings on Sundays which start at 2 p.m. Pacific. Typically, the first thirty-minutes are devoted to business so if you want to hunt with us, let us know and we'll sunstone you when we're ready to head out. You can also ask any of us questions if you see us about the lands.

If you'd like more information about the Light & Shadow clan, head over to our web scrolls at:


Greetings fellow exiles. Hellpop here, roving reporter for Fishwrap magazine. What with all the hubbub and ballyhoo over Tenebrion and his communications with us, I felt it would be interesting to have a chat with other talkative folks around the island. Relations with many of denizens of our island are often quite rocky, and it will be worthwhile to see what they have to say. So here goes ...

My first interviewee dwells in the dark caves east of Puddleby and seems to be a loner. I entered the Noids cave filled with apprehension about killing any of the smaller spiders there, concerned that doing so may raise suspicions about my motives as an unbiased reporter.

I carefully explored the cavern, seeking its ancient resident. Sure enough, I found the Talking Arachniod amid the stalagmites and dark shadows of the cavern.

Hellpop: "Greetings Arachnoid. My name is Hellpop. May I ask you a few questions?"
(no reply)
Hellpop: "I'll take that as a yes. What are your feelings on the exiles that come into your cave? Do you have any aspirations to--"
Arachnoid: "Kthk-T'kel is found down where the rock grows warm."
Hellpop: "Really? That sounds quite interesting! Can you tell me what a Kthk-T'kel is?"
Arachnoid: "You should go back, the Kthk-T'kel is unhealthy to your kind."
Hellpop: "Oh I get it. The Kthk-T'kel guys are noids. That's what we call 'em. Yeah, they are dangerous to my kind. Thanks for the warning. Might I say that you are the coolest spider thingie that I've met on--"
Arachnoid: "The other tribes fight for the cave south of here."
Hellpop: "Right. Well, not to contradict you or anything, but all they seem to fight is us. I've never seen them fight each other."
Arachnoid: "Beware the changed ones..."
Hellpop: "Right. Got it. Beware the big spiders that kick my ass to the south. Now if I can just ask you a few--"
Arachnoid: "Thk'Ekl make fine weapons, if you've got the training."
Hellpop: "Okaaaay, now we're gettin' somewhere! We exiles are always interested in fine weapons! What kind of training do we need to procure these things? What is the weapon? Like a wicked bullwhip made out of webs? That would be cool. Or maybe a nasty looking spider sword?! I'd sure like one of those!"
Arachnoid: "We were once a united race, But the Change swept through us."
Hellpop: "Right. Changed... fight for the cave... now, Can we get back to the spider sword? Can you tell me if I have to bring you something in exchange for this fine weapon you spoke of, or is it just lying about somewhere?"
Arachnoid: "Beware the changed ones..."
Hellpop: "I got that already! Let's try to concentrate here, man. What you're saying is that these changed spiders used to be cool with each other, but now they fight, even though no one has ever seen that, and then they make 'fine weapons' that we must train for, but there is no training available, and no weapons?"
Arachnoid: "Kthk-T'kel is found deep down where the rock grows warm."
Hellpop: "And apparently spiders smoke cave moss..."
Arachnoid: "You should go back, the Kthk-T'kel is unhealthy to your kind."
Hellpop: "This conversation is over."

Next, I headed deep into the South Forest. Past the South Forest, in fact, to the southern Brambles and into T'rool Town! I had foraged this spot for a while in search of ore and a few good skins, but never had I stopped to chat with the resident T'rool - T'Goth. I found him, as always, sitting in a place of prominence in the heart of the town. Again, trying not to upset relations for the interview, I did not attack any of the T'rools that were running around the town. There sure were a lot of them though, and they all wanted to get a piece of me as I approached T'Goth.

Hellpop: "Hello T'Goth. My name is Hellpop, and I would like to ask you a few questions about your relationship with Puddleby and its exiles."
(no response)
Hellpop: "Would you mind calling some of these guys offa' me? It's getting kind of crowded."
(The T'rool priest makes a mysterious sign)
Hellpop: "Oohhh. So you're a priest"
(Note: At this point I thought that maybe the T'rools communicated with their hands. So I gave T'goth the good ole' thumbs up! This had no effect.)
Hellpop: "Well, then. Maybe you could tell me what it is you T'rools worship? Some kind of freakish T'rool God? Or maybe a large rock carving?"
(no response)
Hellpop: "Do you have any interest in furthering the communication between our two towns? An exchange program of sorts, or even pen pals maybe?"
T'Goth: "This town be ours!"
Hellpop: "Oh, yeah. I wasn't suggesting that we would want your town or anything. To be quite honest, I don't see how you stand the smell down here near the swamp. And ... no offense here ... but leeches give me the willies!"
(Note: At this point many T'rools had surrounded me and they were three deep to try and get a swing in. I do not claim to be a mystic, but I got the definite feeling that I was not welcome there.)
T'Goth: "Get out, ya fair smellin' little nose."
Hellpop: "But I just want to ask you a few more questions."
Monster: "But I just want to ask you a few more..."
(Note: Some of the T'rools around me actually took time out of trying to kill me and spoke to me.)
Hellpop: "Hey, you guys can talk?"
Monster: "Hey, you guys can talk?"
Hellpop: "Well, yeah I can talk. I'm talking to you right now."
Monster: "Well, yeah I can talk. I'm talking..."
Hellpop: "Oh, I get it. I used to do this when I was a kid."
Monster: "Oh, I get it. I used to do this..."
Hellpop: "Yeah, that's funny alright."
Monster: "Yeah, that's funny alright."
Hellpop: "Look man, stop it. I'm trying to facilitate relations here!"
Monster: "Look man, stop it. I'm trying to..."
Hellpop: "I mean it! Stop!"
Monster: "I mean it! Stop!"
(The T'rool priest makes a mysterious sign)
Hellpop: "Wait a minute! Was that your middle finger!? You frickin' green fatso! I'll show you a sign!"
Monster: "Wait a minute! Was that your middle..."
(Note: Sadly, at this point all communication seemed hopeless. To be honest, it may have been my fault. I started hacking at anything green in the immediate vicinity.)

So to sum up, it does not seem that relations with the T'rools are possible at this time. The Arachnoid did not seem to have any clues as to the whereabouts of his "fine weapons" and this reporter thinks that he is an unreliable source for any kind of useful information. Come to think of it, its eyes looked rather dilated to me, so I would just say no to the spiders in general.

Hellpop here! Have a nice day and happy hunting!

Letters, we get letters

From Nyssa:

To the Editor,

A copy of the Fishwrap #43 landed with a splat and an apalling odor on my doorstep. It included a noxious interview with one Raldin, a so-called Mystic. In this interview, the said Raldin implied that I wanted to overthrow the Mystic Council and establish a council of my own. This is a lie. The Fishwrap, by printing his slanderous statements has committed libel. You will be hearing from my attorney.



From Sir Califas Lomas:

Hello Paramedic,

I was wandering about the Middle Pass one day after hearing there was an exile in need thereabouts. Either I was mistaken, or they were aided before I could arrive, I cannot remember which. This left me with little to do in the area save wander a bit more. Upon entering the Middle Pass Well area I was attacked by a small tribe of Wendeckas and forced to exit East or be trapped. Once inside the Greymyr Passes I decided I would attempt to escape by way of the South Pass and began to journey in that direction.

At the "T" intersection of the southern route towards the South Pass and the continuance of the passage towards the Greymyr Village I happened on an odd looking rock. Stooping quickly to pick it up I continued towards the South Pass and exited with little incident. After a cursory inspection of the rock I went about my normal business and thought little of it. I have shown this brittle grey rock to various exiles with neglible result. Thinking perhaps one of your readers might have come upon a similar object or have some relevant information concerning its use, I have sent you this missive. My Thanks to you for your consideration.

May you seek the true path,

Sir Califas Lomas
Company of the Shield
Guard of the Golden Tree


From Fletcher:

My dear readers,

There has been considerable loquacity on the newscrolls of late about the privation our island is suffered without access to archery. Unfortunately, the flummery of foex populi has reduced that forum to not but a collection of vox et praeterea nihil. I have posted this scroll there, however, it is lost among the multitude of others, most of which are not suitable for use in the privy.

I will thus attempt to elucidate.

Currently, the state of archery in Puddleby is dreadful. Many of our sylvan friends possess bows, but their arrows can fly no further than arm's length.

This, my friends, is due to poor fletching.

One would think that the arrival of the finest fletcher in the capital would soon result in the twang of bowstrings and a sky darkened with arrows. However, it took me quite some time to find acceptable feathers! The scavenger bird is a filthy, mite-infested thing, which I will not deign to touch. Simply dreadful! I daresay the feathers are useless even as pillow stuffing! Eventually I was led towards the mountains, where I found bloodhawk feathers, which are much more acceptable. They will do, although I have a sample of a feather with remarkable properties of strength and endurance. It was given to me by an exile who said that it came from some exotic fowl called a "Super Chicken."

I have since begun to produce arrows of significantly greater quality. Such arrows do not come cheap, which is a factor to bear in mind when considering becoming an archer. Arrows make a wonderful tactical tool in battle, but for hunting, you're likely to spend more on my wares than you are to gain in furs on the hunt. More powerful arrows, with arrowheads that do more damage to the target, will of course cost you a pretty penny.

I have provided my best arrow with the golden head, wrought from the simplicity of Bloodhawk doves, yet though I invest the care that knitteth souls and prospers loves, we get no range from John Arrowish's strongest bow! This sad fact, dear townsfolk, is because we have no bowyer. A bent fishing pole of whittled willow is a sorry substitute for a finely crafted bow, I daresay. A skillful bowyer would bring ranged weaponry to our fearful town. Sadly, it is not my craft.

Do not think that archery would create an invincible town of exiles. I warn you that the benefits will not be so advantageous. No beast could be trapped and felled, for beasts run towards their prey, and any object that would trap the beast would block an arrow as well! It is true that an exile may parry a beast's blows while his allies fell it with arrows, but this is no different than striking from behind and dashing away. Furthermore, if a beast is trapped by a nearby exile against a tree, so that distant exiles may fell it, they will surely learn not to be distracted by such a simple trick and to instead move about in a manner that will prevent it. One must also bear in mind the extreme difficulty in aiming a long, arching shot towards a beast that is cavorting about will result in few exiles mastering this art. I envision instead arrows protruding from the backs of the very warriors the archers are trying to support!

Despite these varied and significant impediments to archery's effectiveness, I nonetheless encourage the town to seek out a bowyer. After all, I am accustomed to the lifestyle of a merchant, and I am not at all pleased with having to stoop to hunting to maintain my exquisite finery!

Thus far the Gods have not blessed us with a bowyer. Perhaps they think it will upset the delicate balance of nature. I assure you that is not the case! I've got an arrow here, loving the hand that fletched it, I the dart revere. Fell, beasts will be, in skirmish! Vanquished, my ranks will show. By but a simple arrow? Sped by an archers bow?

At your service,



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Enba the Rat
Those born under this constellation can expect a rough zodiac. Things will go from bad to worse when you plans of becoming rich are thwarted by an unexpected spriggin somewhere in the Tanglewood.

Elixus the Cat
Gaia will finally answer your prayers this zodiac, sadly the answer will be "maybe." Plans for a party you are planing will be ruined when you trust a Zo for the decorations. Feral-head hats and vermine streamers... ugh!

Shaer the Healer
This constellation bodes well for you this zodiac - if you like brambleberries. If you don't then you're in trouble 'cause you're gonna find a lot of them. Also a Sylvan will make an offer you can't refuse... Refuse it.

Oobiscus the Foxweir
The stars are very pleased with the way you have been acting lately. Although they're not so sure about your choice of clothing. Also, next full moon you will be surprised by a sunstone message from Tenebrion asking you to trade a tangleberry pie in exchange for an Ethereal Doughnut.

Justice in Puddleby

Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0542_306_01_52 on 36 Autumn, 542 at 3:07..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Luc of suing Friv trials that caused FH deaths..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 366 minutes in jail, 4297c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_020_03_44 on 20 Winter, 543 at 4:33..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Panthro of trying to kill Algernon..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 22 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_020_05_08 on 20 Winter, 543 at 6:17..."
Clerus says, "Trowa accused Madcat of ruining the zoo and hard work..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 62 minutes in jail, 256c fine and 2 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_023_13_46 on 23 Winter, 543 at 14:58..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Wrath of killing the new town zoo..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 79 minutes in jail, 228c fine and 4 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_025_13_17 on 25 Winter, 543 at 14:14..."
Clerus says, "Mephisto accused Pe Ell of trying to scam exiles..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 37 minutes in jail, 282c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_037_09_17 on 37 Winter, 543 at 10:24..."
Clerus says, "Sabbit accused Lilit of chaining Agrath into the dark cave..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 87 minutes in jail, 44c fine and 5 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_051_13_15 on 51 Winter, 543 at 13:57..."
Clerus says, "Larloch accused Sasha of a dumb name..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_051_19_05 on 51 Winter, 543 at 19:41..."
Clerus says, "MegaDuckie accused Tyranis Calgar of FlameingPeuginSquad..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 191 minutes in jail, 423c fine and 16 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_053_08_24 on 53 Winter, 543 at 9:34..."
Clerus says, "Deornoth accused Malkor of Blackmail..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 43 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_061_08_50 on 61 Winter, 543 at 9:56..."
Clerus says, "Micheal accused Cody of Kidnapping Algy..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 49 minutes in jail, 169c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_061_16_36 on 61 Winter, 543 at 17:50..."
Clerus says, "Deornoth accused Trespasser of Harrassment, and glad apun my goat (Moe)'s death..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 166 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 13 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_069_06_35 on 69 Winter, 543 at 7:34..."
Clerus says, "Satan accused Maz of taking away my powers and toturein me..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 915 minutes in jail, 9196c fine and 98 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_070_07_25 on 70 Winter, 543 at 8:19..."
Clerus says, "Eva Loriel accused Rand of killing with other exiles, my cute pet Rocky...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_077_09_05 on 77 Winter, 543 at 9:49..."
Clerus says, "Zaroff accused Deornoth of sexual harassment..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_098_12_28 on 8 Spring, 543 at 13:10..."
Clerus says, "Lummox accused Xepel of not stopping his damn music..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_106_18_34 on 16 Spring, 543 at 19:41..."
Clerus says, "Shepherd accused Blitz of being possessed by a vile spirit...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 59 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_108_19_54 on 18 Spring, 543 at 20:57..."
Clerus says, "Tardalus accused J'dy of Killing lovely gifts of nature..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 84 minutes in jail, 465c fine and 4 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_110_19_34 on 20 Spring, 543 at 20:29..."
Clerus says, "Righ Badenoch accused Prue of aiding a drake in eating fellow exiles..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 49 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_122_06_57 on 32 Spring, 543 at 7:50..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Zaroff of making fun of a national crisis...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 1006 minutes in jail, 15073c fine and 107 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_125_21_29 on 35 Spring, 543 at 22:23..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Luc of Conspiracy to destroy a future raid..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 575 minutes in jail, 6768c fine and 60 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_135_01_55 on 45 Spring, 543 at 2:41..."
Clerus says, "Larloch accused Crystal of being a witch..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 259 minutes in jail, 1498c fine and 24 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_142_03_50 on 52 Spring, 543 at 4:40..."
Clerus says, "Amrosar II accused Streetus Danaca of breaching the town peace...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 110 minutes in jail, 159c fine and 7 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_142_11_59 on 52 Spring, 543 at 12:58..."
Clerus says, "Caticus accused Nilor of disrupting a FMOCR and the workings of the sun...."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 43 minutes in jail, 0c fine and 0 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_147_03_52 on 57 Spring, 543 at 4:42..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Chicot of killing innocent Tors..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was frivolous; 126 minutes in jail, 648c fine and 9 days banished."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_147_12_00 on 57 Spring, 543 at 13:14..."
Clerus says, "Darnok accused Zeus of Exposing people to lude behavior..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; probation."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_163_19_23 on 73 Spring, 543 at 20:27..."
Clerus says, "Fishylish accused Malkor of Taking my SS..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_168_01_05 on 78 Spring, 543 at 1:41..."
Clerus says, "Trespasser accused Algernon of nothing (someone locked him dead in the purple tor)..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was innocent."
Clerus says, "Case #pcl_0543_171_03_36 on 81 Spring, 543 at 4:28..."
Clerus says, "Rel'lim accused Kiyeko of Theft and possession of my stolen OB and mace..."
Clerus says, "The verdict was guilty; 30 minutes in jail, 734c fine and 0 days banished."


Angry Thoom Barbeque
More Horoscopes
Behind the Moonstone with Bones the Thoom
Super Chicken: Exile, or Fowl?

Fishwrap Magazine is part of the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Crippler, Charlos, Jeanne, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia, Deadmeat, Hellpop, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar, Monolith, Norm, Perkusi, Sum, Tyking II, Yor

Request regarding submissions:
If you could turn off the time/date stamp before you record transcriptions for Fishwrap, the editor would be most grateful.

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always looking for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in Fishwrap Magazine, send Paramedic some mail (mailbox #1047) or email him at his scroll:


When the flood calls
You have no home, you have no walls
In the thunder crash
You're a thousand minds, within a flash

"Here Comes the Flood"
- Peter Gabriel

Posted by Para at 02:19 PM