January 29, 2007
The Sneaky Chicken Steals the Largo Interview!


Super Chicken presents the following special TMN Feature Interview:

Yap yap yap! So when I saw all these Thoomcare posts about the Largo interview, one thing came to mind: CHICKEN GLORY! and so without anyone's permission or knowledge, I sneaked away with Largo and stole the interview from all other interested reporters, which happened to be no one, since no one was interested in interviewing Largo. Luckily, everyone wants to read more about Chicken!

(Super Chicken gets out his writing pen and notepad!)
Largo: "You the interviewer?!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "I sure am!"
Super Chicken yells, "Bawk!"
Super Chicken says, "Well now"
Super Chicken asks, "could you state your full name?"
Largo says, "Uh."
Largo says, "Largo."
Super Chicken asks, "not Largo Chicken or anything?"
Largo says, "Not Largo Chicken."
Super Chicken exclaims, "alrighty then!"

Largo says, "Just Largo."
Super Chicken asks, "question one: on a scale of 1 to 10, how far past 10 does my chicken glory extend?"
Largo asks, "I thought this was about me?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "it is!"
Super Chicken says, "It's about how YOU ( largo) think about me"
Super Chicken says, "and my greatness"
Largo asks, "Are all the questions variations of this one?"
Super Chicken says, "don't be silly"
Super Chicken says, "come on largo, tell me of my chicken greatness"
Largo asks, "What about where I stand on all the important issues?"
Super Chicken asks, "like foot grabbing and horn blowing?"
Super Chicken says, "Oh, never fear, i'll get to those too."
Largo says, "Oh, uh. Okay."
Largo says, "9.5, I guess."
Super Chicken says, "no no, it's past 10"
Largo says, "Uh. 10.5."
Super Chicken exclaims, "That's your first incorrect answer! answer another wrong I'm penalizing you with chicken points!"
Largo asks, "What?"
(Super Chicken nods approvingly)
Largo asks, "I'm being GRADED?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "sure are!"

Super Chicken says, "alrighty then"
Super Chicken exclaims, "let's move to fashion sense!"
(Largo nods.)
Super Chicken says, "You've moved up on the fashion ladder with your snazzy green shirt"
(Largo nods.)
Super Chicken asks, "how long untill you develop a ... chicken like wardrobe?"
Largo asks, "Define chicken like?"
Super Chicken says, "oh you know"
Super Chicken says, "my bubble gum pink"
Super Chicken says, "my colbert blue, my all gold outfit"
Super Chicken says, "all part of the path to chicken glory"
(Largo shrugs.)
Super Chicken asks, "You have no plans to develep a even newer shirt?"
Largo says, "I don't really like really bright colors."
Largo says, "I'm considering saving my coins for an albino maha shirt for some dying."
(Super Chicken nods)
Largo says, "Past that, I'm not sure."
Super Chicken asks, "and how are you in the foot grabbing department?"

Largo says, "While we're on the subject of fashion though, I'd like to say purple is very last season."
Largo says, "Anyone wearing purple is either Relkin, color blind, or out of the fashion loop."
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Wait until the purple mystics hear this!"
Largo says, "Well, I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and go with colorblind."
Super Chicken asks, "Actually, what do you have to say to the purple mystics such as Maryjane, Tina?"
Largo says, "Ease off. The purple gimmick is getting old, and it hurts my eyes."
Super Chicken asks, "So what colors do you think the purplers should take up?"
Super Chicken asks, "tan? grass green?"
Largo says, "Anything but purple."
Super Chicken asks, "some other color?"
Largo says, "Orange is a good choice, one that everyone should at least look in to."
Super Chicken asks, "How did your radical anti-purple views begin?"
Largo says, "When I started hearing about purple mystics on the sunstone every five minutes."
Super Chicken asks, "were you ever beaten as a kitten by a purple mystic?"
Largo says, "To the public: There is actually no such thing as a subtle purple benefit."
Largo says, "And no, I wasn't ever beaten by a purple mystic."

Super Chicken says, "Let's move on"
(Largo nods.)
Super Chicken asks, "How are you in the art of the foot grab?"
Largo says, "I don't have much practice. I don't even own a cloak."
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken asks, "tail grab?"
Largo says, "I mean, I have such a pretty face. No reason to cover it up."
Super Chicken asks, "or the tricky reverse tail grab, where you place your tail in someone's unsuspecting hand?"
Largo says, "I've never done that."
Largo says, "It sounds kind of creepy."
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
(Super Chicken blows his horn at largo!)
You blow your horn.
(Largo blinks.)
Super Chicken says, "That's not creepy at all! you should try it"
Super Chicken asks, "and how are you at hornering?"
Largo says, "I'm too poor to own a horn."
Super Chicken asks, "have you ever tried to blow into a shoe and aim it at people?"
Largo says, "I have never done that."
(Super Chicken nods)
Super Chicken asks, "it appears you haven't done alot. no foot grabbing, no horn blowing, how do you expect to take after your chicken master?"
Largo asks, "Chicken master?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Bawk!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Chicken master!"
Largo says, "I guess I have interests other than molesting people's feet and being horny."

Super Chicken asks, "So, many have called you Lardo due to your girth, how did you take off the pounds, and a follow up question, how did you get them back so fast?"
Largo says, "Oh, that. There never was any girth."
Largo says, "Pun'isher started it - she's jealous because I'm prettier than she is."
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken asks, "What do you think Punnie will say to that after she reads this interview?"
Largo says, "I'm pretty sure she can't read."
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken asks, "How do you think the next fen elections will go?"
Super Chicken asks, "Do you plan to run against Manx?"
Largo says, "I really hope I don't have to run against Manx, because I'd lose. No question about it."
Largo says, "I would like to run, though."

Super Chicken asks, "So what happened to your failed marriage with boo boo?"
Largo says, "No comment."
Super Chicken asks, "and your 2nd more secret failed marriage with Relkin?"
Largo says, "No comment."
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken asks, "what are your professional plans for the future? champion? ranger? bloodmage?"
Largo says, "Undecided. At some point I might look into the fell blade, but I'm not sure."
Super Chicken says, "and we'll end this interview with how it began,"
Largo says, "I might not chose a specialty blade at all."
Super Chicken exclaims, "bask in my chicken glory!"
Largo asks, "That's it?"
(Super Chicken nods)
Largo asks, "You aren't going to ask how I keep my fur so shiny?"
Super Chicken says, "I'd have liked to have added more chicken related material, but I ran out of ideas"
Largo asks, "Or my hair so luxurious?"
Largo asks, "Or about my clan?"
Largo asks, "Or more about fen presidency?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "nope!"
Largo asks, "Or about these really, really, really expensive pants?"
Super Chicken says, "serously largo, the readers are interested in hearing more about me."
Largo says, "I don't think so - there were two articles begging for me to be interviewed."
Largo exclaims, "That's never happened to you!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Because you submitted them!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Thanks for attending the interview!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Bawk!"

Posted by Para at 07:42 PM
January 28, 2007
Azriel Fights Bartok, Shoots Self in the Eye


Azriel has updated his journal with reports on Chaos Storm #472 and Chaos Storm #475.

Azriel in pursuit of Bartok

Azriel and the Scarlet Crossbow

Posted by Para at 08:47 PM
Mysterious Note Delivered to TMN


I received a note at TMN Headquarters today. The scroll has no name on it, but it was covered in what seems to be dried yellow blood. No one was found outside, and I have been unable to ascertain what the contents might mean. Here's what it says. Some parts are obscured and illegible.


"Dive [unreadable] upcoming. Help required to [unreadable] exceptionally strong ex[unreadable] teamed. So [unreadable], continuous efforts [unreadable] closer. [unreadable] All Puddleby inv[unreadable] stop before they [unreadable]. Coins pa[unreadable]."

Posted by Para at 07:42 PM


Town Center remains abuzz with talk of the prospect of an interview with Largo appearing on TMN. Who will be the lucky exile to land this interview?


Posted by Para at 07:02 PM
Dongle's Secret


Dongle sent the following report to TMN:

Greetings, Para

Today I would like to tell another of my secrets to all. I am a secret choir leader!


Posted by Para at 06:33 PM
Wanted: An Interview with Largo


TMN is interested in having a freelance reporter interview Fen Vice President Largo on the important questions of the day. Is someone up for the task?

Posted by Para at 12:14 AM
January 24, 2007
Chaos Storm #478


Chaos Storm #478 has swept the Lok'Groton island chain. Please post any changes you have observed and wish to share with others in the comments. If you don't want to read possible spoilers, please do not read the comments.

Posted by Para at 11:11 PM
January 22, 2007
PAG Continues to Explore Slate Caves


The following message may contain spoilers. If you don't want to read possible spoilers, please do not read the information below.

Fundin sent the following announcement to TMN:

New Slate Caves found!

The return of Bartok and the discovery of the Orga Stronghold some time ago attracted a lot of attention, and threatened PAG with the horror of fighting outside in the daylight. However, at about the same time, a new section of Slate Caverns also became accessible, and so PAG has been exploring these caves for the past year (OOC 4 months).

We have found 5 more chambers, aptly named SC11, 12, 13, 14 and 15, and have managed to map SC11 and 12 in detail (see http://fundin.puddleby.info/PAG_maps.html). SC13, 14 and 15 are works in progress and are proving extremely difficult to reach again after one very successful trip. All our efforts during recent trips are focused on conquering SC11 and SC12, and we continue to try different tactics here, but so far these caverns have beaten us all too often.

What have we found so far is . . . Noids and more Noids. We have seen no new species yet, but find an abundance of tough Slate Noids. We were very excited to find a Blue Spirit Potion on the floor of one of these caves, but analysis of this revealed it was made of ingredients so rare and so hard to obtain that few will ever see one, let alone use one. We have not even been able to make enough new BSP to test it properly. As yet, we have no idea if this treacherous route will take us any closer to another entrance to the Orga Stronghold (bypassing the teleport booster) or some other hidden goal such as an advanced pathfinding book. We'll keep trying and report any breakthroughs when they happen.

We are also still looking for solid and reliable exile recruits. See http://www.vagilemind.com/clanlord/viewtopic.php?t=2971



Posted by Para at 09:05 AM
January 20, 2007
Channel Master and Toomeria Working to Enhance Champions


Gorvin sent the following report to TMN:

I bring great news for Puddleby's Champions.

Recently, while I was off on a hunt, I heard word that Erthron was in town asking if anyone had seen Channel Master. Apparently Channel Master had disappeared from the Champion Hall without a word. After returning from my hunt, I heard Polerand sunstoning that there was some unusual activity going on in the Greymyr Passes. A group of us went to investigate and found an exceptionally large amount of greymyrs all over the passes, some of which were much stronger than normal. Eventually we were able to fight our way to the Greymyr Chief, and found Channel Master fallen next to him.

After raising him, he told us that he had felt some strange energy coming from the passes, and had come here to investigate. He saw what he thought were greymyrs being "born" from the rocks here. Before being beaten into a pulp, he noticed something strange about these greymyrs. Apparently their energy wasn't coming from the Earth, but from within themselves, similar to what Toomeria teaches Champions to do. However, eventually the energy left them.

Garr inquired as to whether he might be able to channel some of his stored power into his Earthstones to make them more powerful. Channel Master said it might be possible and that maybe we should talk to Toomeria about it. As we headed back, we encountered a large group of greymyrs, which Channel Master felt had a strange energy about them. Possibly they were "young" greymyrs like the ones that attacked him by the chief. After killing them off, Channel Master put two of them on a chain to be brought back.


Apparently Toomeria and Channel Master were not on the best of terms, and were reluctant to work with each other, but Garr eventually convinced Toomeria to consider the idea. She asked Channel Master if she could borrow an Earthstone to study, but he refused, so I offered her one of mine instead. After borrowing my Atkite, Worf's Balthite, and Bon Temps's Dethite, Channel Master gave in and let her borrow his Darkite.


We left them to study the Earthstones and greymyrs together, which they felt would take some time to finish. About a Puddleby-week and a half later, Toomeria approached me to give me my Atkite back. She said they still needed some time to refine their techniques, but no longer needed our Earthstones. She felt that by focusing one's stored Earthpower into an Earthstone, that stone's power could be nearly doubled.


I expect that after Toomeria and Channel Master have finished their studies, we will be seeing many more Champions training with both of them.


Posted by Para at 05:05 PM
Potions and Prototypes


Creed sent the following report to TMN:

Hail Para!

I thought I would share with your readers a couple of strange happenings in Town Center recently.

I came into Town Center to find Nemesis in a bit of a boastful mood. Whether 11 RHSes really gives him more Horus than Lorikeet remains to be proven!

On another occasion, something very strange happened in Town Center. MaryJane was present, and bolts of lightning were shooting from her, causing a number of exiles to fall and be perilously near death. I was unable to find out whether MaryJane was doing this on purpose or whether the gods were using her somehow. Any insight on this from other exiles who were there would be appreciated! I should also mention that several barrels of beer were involved.

It was all in good fun, though, because even the exiles who seemed to be PND were actually raised easily by any healer. And, I was surprised to see—when it was my turn to fall—that I was given the message that I had fallen to an ubergossbloodaxe-prototype! Connie Crete had fallen nearby, but when she was raised, she found she had the ubergossbloodaxe-prototype in her possession. I am anxious to hear more from Ms. Crete about her evaluation of this new weapon.




Posted by Para at 12:49 PM
January 14, 2007
Darshak Invasion at Sea


The sea was filled with hostile Darshak vessels this afternoon.

Town itself was under attack earlier. West Puddleby was lost to the Darshak briefly, but was recovered not long after a kudzu wall was built.


Posted by Para at 06:22 PM
Piratey Forum


The Pirates of Lok'Groton have set up a news center and forum for pirate-related news and discussion.

Posted by Para at 11:09 AM
Metzetli Door


Kerrah sent the following report to TMN:

A follow-up to a recent post on Exploring Metzetli Island:

While exploring the island, an abandoned structure with a tightly sealed door was discovered. As yet, we have not found a way to get through the door but any news of further discovery will be sure to follow.


Posted by Para at 10:54 AM
Mosey to Melabrion's Mines


Connie Crete sent the following report to TMN:


Ima sendin this mainly fer ta describe a mosey and also ta show Jo we dun it. It starts with FB (Falinea's Blade) pickin a place fer ta mosey. What be tha drivin force be lookin at who we has and what will stretch tha crew. Tanight we had me and Manqy and Del and Dande and K'vynn.

So we decides ta go ta Melly's mines. Well, we made it past tha pit and tha forky area and is jest about at our limit. But I asks ifn we wanna do a) tha stupid thing (go ta deep toks with jest us) b) hunt sumplace else, or c) go do sumthin else. Ya never knows. Well Del picked "a".

Tha rules is simple. We goes in and keels and goes out when pepples is sciart. Basically, it be like Brune says - fighters will follow where tha healin goes. So ifn tha healers goes out, it be a sign.. ya dont gotta have tha explicit "out." In this case, Dande thought it mightcould be prudent ta regroup.


We got back up and got our toehold and Kvynn gived us an idea o what lay ahead. Is why we dont go chargin or send a blind lurer. Truthfullike, me and Manqy is kinda heavy on tha Histia and light on tha Atkwho? so uses boosts fer balance and accuracy. I likes havin tha snell we is in or tha one we is goin ta orbed so I dont have ta go runnin all over creation ta find out what be there - if anythin. I knows sumfolks gits a might put off by orbin, but in circumstances where tha mystic pauses fer a quiet moment ta do it (like when yer healin green->white) ya kin git an idea o what be about.


So we got a emerald lured and we bashed it and we declared victory. Tha final hurdle were ta git home. It be a poorly kept secret that tha last half hour o our moseys alla us is fallin asleep. Case in point, Del camed ta a daid stop while we was exitin. O course, she woked back up - but it were touch and go fer a bit till we tucked her inta tha liberry.


And that be what a mosey be like when we is jest a few folks. The end.


-Connie Crete

Posted by Para at 10:40 AM
January 12, 2007
Chicken with a Crowbar


Chicken's got a crowbar.


Posted by Para at 07:03 PM
January 09, 2007
Measle Climbs Puddleby Social Ladder


Measle improved his social standing considerably this evening with two bold moves. He has been made a ThoomCare Affiliate in honor of his much-valued work on his journal. He has also joined one of Puddleby's oldest and most respected clans, Rising Claw.


Posted by Para at 09:56 PM
Measle Meets Magi


Measle reports on an encounter with the mysterious Magi in his most recent journal entry.

Posted by Para at 09:31 PM
January 08, 2007
Sielk Visits Metz


In his most recent journal entry, Sielk reports on expeditions to Metz Island, the Slate and Pitch Caves, and the Orga Stronghold. He also reports on developing his Ranger and Pathfinding skills.


Posted by Para at 09:58 PM
January 05, 2007
Bestiary Returns


Org du Lac has been working on restoring his Bestiary, a valuable source of information on the various creatures to be found in the lands.

Org du Lac's Bestiary

Read about and comment upon it here at the Clan Lord Sentinel:

Bestiary Revived

Posted by Para at 06:45 PM
January 04, 2007
Chaos Storm #475


Chaos Storm #475 has swept the Lok'Groton island chain. Please post any changes you have observed and wish to share with others in the comments. If you don't want to read possible spoilers, please do not read the comments.

Posted by Para at 01:46 PM
January 01, 2007
"We Killed K'vynn!"


Inu Teisei sent the following report to TMN:

Dear Paramedic,

New Year's Eve was an Epic! good time for the Laughing Academy crew and honorary members. We spent a good chunk of it trying to jump off the cloud, adding victims, er, guests to the body count as we attempted to complete our quest.


Finally we succeeded and managed to jump off the cloud...


and we witnessed a most astonishing sight: Dead Pun Standing!


During the ensuing rescue, we managed to kill K'vynn, so we bastards. All in all, it was a great New Year's to spend with Epic! friends :)


Smoochy boochies,
-Inu Teisei

Posted by Para at 12:26 PM